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SELF-ESTEEM

WHAT 'E' The ESTEEM

The Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves, as each sees himself as one judges and what kind of value you attribute. Everything, including the word "security", security in their physical or mental capacity being well accepted and even admired by others (S. Crosera, 2000). Beware though, the esteem should not be confused with an attitude of overconfidence. Both the person who underestimates what that demonstrates a sense of superiority have low self esteem. In the overvaluation process the person only sees its own strengths, in the process of self-esteem the person sees both its virtues that defects; while in the process of underestimating the person only he sees its flaws.

FROM WHAT DEPENDS SELF-ESTEEM?

The rudiments of self-originate in childhood. It emerges through the first satisfaction from the outside world (nourishment) and depends internalisation parental affection. The self-image is trained "historical" in the sense that comes from the storage of experiences crossed at various stages of life. Significant others (parents or significant figures) exert a decisive influence on the development of self-esteem. So the fundamental assumption to have a good degree of self-esteem lies in its being valued by significant others. In summary, according to James (1980), the Self-esteem comes from the relationship between: the perceived self (self-concept, knowledge, skill and ability, assessment and implementation of its successes / failures) and the ideal self (the " what should be "or" want to be ", aspirations and ideals expectations. a person will experience low self-esteem if the perceived self can not reach the level of the ideal self.

The magnitude of the discrepancy between how we see ourselves and how we want to be there indicates the degree of self-esteem. Increasing the discrepancy self-esteem decreases.

To better understand the Self-esteem is necessary to refer to the concept of "locus of control" (Rottes 1954), which can be internal and external.

The "external locus of control" is the feeling that events are realized in a completely alien to our ability to influence them. The external locus was associated with the concept of powerlessness and low self-esteem.

The "g locus control" inside is the feeling that they have the ability to affect events and thus to control them actively. The latter is allied to the concept of competence and a high self-esteem. Importantly, the "locus of control" is that self-esteem is related to how it assigns the meaning of an experience of failure.

High self-esteem means to attribute responsibility for a failure in a specific situation of those who have some control (eg. I studied a little).

Low self-esteem means to attribute the failure to a global cause beyond its control (eg. Are denied for mathematics, are not smart!).

POSITIVE NEGATIVE SELF-ESTEEM

- Internalized and self-help support that allows us to tolerate rejection and criticism.

- Sense of adequacy in the circumstances, flexibility.

- Autonomy of action and decision; He cooperates without being manipulated.

- More in touch with the present and empathetic capacity.

- Openness and willingness to create nutrient relations, constructive and equal (self-esteem is a prerequisite of love, not a consequence!).

- Respect, acceptance and kindness toward themselves and toward others (recognition of one's limits, self-worth, confidence, but also the ability to ask for help).

- Constant Need of external support and acceptance.

- Uncertainty, fluctuation between adequacy and inadequacy (negative reinforcement).

- Hypersensitivity to criticism, discomfort and suffering because of the negative judgment (tendency to avoidance, perfectionism, to complacency, self-limitation, defensive barriers).

- Self-criticism, guilt and comparisons with autosvalutanti effects.

- Focus of the errors, defects, failures, missed opportunities.

- Hostility, irritability, dissatisfaction, pessimism, depressive tendencies.

- Surrender, referrals, indecision and waiting for the "right time".

- Excessive Attention on the past or future (regrets or concerns anticipatory).

- Feeling of not merit the welfare and happiness.

- Relationship difficulties (huge need for love that predisposes to disappointment, distrust, emptiness and loneliness).

How to cure Esteem

Just as we saw the esteem derives from the interaction with others; and by old childhood memories. The concept of self develops in childhood, within the primary group (ie, family) and is therefore more durable and less easily modified. Generally, the self-image generated dall'Autostima, it remains constant and is difficult to change even if the objective evidence belie the subjective conception that one has of oneself. Just because every memory tends to replicate themselves. However, despite this, the Self-esteem can also be questioned, and may undergo substantial changes right through the relationship with the therapist. It is a path not always linear, long but effective. And it is within the psychotherapeutic relationship which emerges a self-assessment of one's self before had ever experienced. This is to investigate and touch emotions that have in the past created wounds, but now with therapeutic support can be tolerated and changed.

In order to change the direction of its value it is important to give a different meaning to what happened. To improve the self-esteem within the therapeutic process should be explored with great attention the expectations on themselves, the prospects of self-assessment and judgment of himself, with all the emotional historical implications of the subject.